Seeming slow, morose.

After a thorn pulled from paw 

The world turned gold. 


‘Be honourable’ – Vonnegut 

Short Cuts – Series 11, So It Goes – @bbcradio4

So it goes. < click the link to listen. 
This was so welcome this evening. Slaughterhouse 5 was a favourite of mine as soon as I picked it up and now Timequake is firmly on my list to read in 2017. 

We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is. 

There’s been so much fact, speculation and general rhetoric about the incident in London last Wednesday. 

I understand why and I understand that some of the coverage might be designed to help people rather than just sensationalise it but im trying to see it in the context of the worlds reality. 

I can feel that it’s impacted me and a lot of my thought last week was with that officer and his family and the people who loved the other victims, but I’m trying to fit it into the picture with the hundreds of civilians killed by air strikes this week. 

I had no time for banalities of everyday life.  Selfishly, keeping your own head above is important and gratefully, my weekend felt full of love, and dogs. 


I wish I’d slept better, I was tired but my mind was running. I should be asleep now but at least I’m home to listen to women’s hour drink some tea and then read some of that dreamy book. 

Radio 4 seemed great yesterday, everything I caught (until 1400) I was glad to catch, espescially a few words from Tegan Quin talking about the pressures on her from different communities for somewhat representing the queer community in music and elsewhere. 

Work has been heavy and I’ve been working on one case for three days which is odd and tiring. Having started relatively extremely, it’s ended in a technically positive result but not necessarily the best outcome for all involved. it’s making me think hard about my role in this job… in this world. 

The gloves are off 

TFH was talking about effort recently. I’ve always ridden bikes because I like it rather than any competitive desire but I have also always wanted to be better and braver at it and an easier companion. 

Today I saw the sunshine and felt the crisp air and I really wanted to ride but at the same time I think I’d woken up in a bit of a fog and was hoping that a little more go would find it’s way into me. 

It didn’t, so I kicked myself up the arse and went for a short spin anyway. And I felt slow but I held concentration for a bit longer than usual which meant I put a bit more effort in when I’d usually freewheel or relax a bit and I hit a handful of PRs even though I felt I was in a bit of a funk. 

I need to get my second lot of cycle computer components on VCB so I can push myself a bit more when I’m just sitting back and getting distracted. 

I’ve always understood that it doesn’t get easier you just get faster but I never really took much pleasure from that. But improving on my own times feels good and I like to see objective progress and I think this is it. I just wish I’d tried a bit harder earlier. 
The photo is a still from a video I sent my brother as a contrast to the Australian mountains he climbs. 🤚🏼