My thoughts on a lot of things have changed in the past few years and I like to think I’m open to new challenges to my ideas.
I started to write a blog post about some key life plans, or my thoughts on the expected, when I first set this up but it never got published.
When I met Tom he said my mind would probably change on a few particular things and I’ve been swinging around on the idea of creating new humans. I’ve not done a full 180 but it now sits in the positive side of the plan; the ‘would like to’.
I’m still open minded about everything but I think some recent good experiences, real positive feelings about another human being who thinks I’m alright, learning to be more empathetic with children and some growing I’ve done is making me want things ‘at some point’ rather than simply not being bothered or as I have been in the past, being adamantly in the negative.
Maybe it’s chemistry.
I’ve just started to see how whatever it is you want to do or try or engage with, you can probably work it out. You can do it the way you want to and the way it works with your other plans and your other everyday needs and adventures.
I used try to look really critically at something if it was “the normal thing to do” in certain societies (drinking alcohol / eating meat/ having babies/ conforming to gender binaries.)
I still do look critically but it used to make me want to abstain (with reasons) from a lot of things and now I feel it makes me more cynical and possibly more careful but I’m realising just because it’s the followed norm doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but it also doesn’t mean you can’t bend what’s expected to make it fit you if it’s what you think is right.
Rather than excluding myself from these traditions I’ve realised I can engage with them and change them to try to make it work for me even if it’s not conventional.
The reasons for not partaking in this particular norm aren’t going to go away just as the reasons not to eat animals or animal products still exist and still make me feel fucking awful.
I’ve got some rose tinted glasses on this evening so bare with me – but I used to be the person at any gathering guaranteed not to be near children but near animals and adults. Today, unexpectedly (and I should add, not universally: there were two great kids there & some mediocre & some less than ideal who I had very little time for- I’m no martyr) I found myself being that person at a party who takes responsibility for someone else’s kid and effectively entertained that tiny person for a whole afternoon.
Maybe it’s something I could do, little George made me look forward to a time anyway. 😳
turn the season 