It turns out when I’m thinking out loud critically about certain things I can come across as quite negative and am simply not eloquent. Writing things down is easier.
My mum sent me this text “weddings are lovely aren’t they”. Yes they are, but they’re also interesting and thought provoking.
I like the idea of the meaning of something being what you make it for yourselves not what it might have always meant to others.
One thing I’ve been thinking positively about, if it suited, that I’d want for ourselves and those I care about, is the idea of an outward demonstration of one persons devotion to another. For example, a ring on a specific finger and a celebration with those people who are important. The more personally significant side of ‘marriage’ I also understand when I think about the sort of animals we are and the bonds we can form with another likeminded human being, and the dependance of children for so long etc. Ive concluded that all makes sense.
So i think this particular social construct has an obvious role separate from simple tradition but there is a still lot wrapped up in it, both on the surface and more surreptitious.
More significantly, thinking around the choice to do this ended up with tears at a specific situation. The magnitude of something getting in the way of this part of your life when you and your love have decided it’s right, having not simply followed the expectations of society, and then the extrapolated fear of what else this something might get in the way of.
I’m not sure about the legality prescribed to the construct, especially around children. I worry that people might have lived their lives the way that was right for them, disregarding the patterns and expectations because they don’t necessarily need that piece of paper to be wholly invested in their life together, but then might be told they need that paper due to developments out of their hands and their need to secure their family’s future.
I want to be able to fix everything. I wish our tears would change something for the better, take it away. I want there to be 3 wishes. None would be wasted but hopefully a few less people would be hurt.